Thirteen...

...today, Taylor became a a teenager. Amazing that time really does go as quickly as they say. One day, you have a brand new baby to cuddle & hold. A thumb-sucking little bundle of love. A few days later, you are watching them begin Kindergarten. Then Junior High. And then, they become a teenager. It just happens that fast. I have enjoyed watching her grow into a young lady and I am so proud of how responible she is becoming. I love that she is becoming her own person. I better enjoy each moment as it comes, because tomorrow, she'll be 16.....

LSS Round 3 Layout Posted

Dare # 3 Finished & Posted! Yay, me! I'll upload pics of these as soon as I get a chance, but for now, I'm linking to my gallery at 2 Peas.
Hip Chick

I just LOVE how this one came out. Gonna have to frame it, I think!

randomness...

... my new job at the school is going better than expected. i get to come home for lunch and let Sophie out.

... still wish i could be home scrapping, though. but that just doesn't pay well. (read not at all)

... trying to figure out what i'm gonna do to make Taylor's birthday special. It's this Wednesday. and she'll be 13!!! I have totally dropped the ball on this one. I had BIG plans & was not able to make any of it work out. so now I am scrambling to try to put something together. Turning 13 is a big deal & I feel like a total failure as a Mom right now for not having anything special going on. If just thinking about something & planning it out were enough, I'd be set. But, alas, no. One must actually take steps to DO something for it to be accomplished. I KNOW that. so why do I always end up in this spot? Rushing around like a big dope without a clue and no way or no time to do it. ugh. seriously.

Moving on.....

Yippee!!!! Going on to Round 3 of Last Scrapper Standing!!! (insert whooping & hollering & jumping & dancing here) OMGoodness!! I am totally freaking out here, people. seriously. I sincerely did not feel worthy this week. Nothing super special. Just me doing a page because it suited me. I loved it. My daughter loved it. That was all that mattered. I did not hold any hopes of being chosen to compete in the next round.

But , wow. The Dare girls must have thought it was good. I am still standing. Totally wow. Thank you girlies!! You have no idea how much my self esteem has been boosted. I am in debt to you. for real.

The next dare is circles. everything circles. hmmm... off to go jot down some ideas.
hugs!

Last Scrapper Standing Round 2

Finally completed my layout Wednesday afternoon. I didn't go with any of my "original" artsy ideas. I decided instead to work with Taylor's Spring Party photos. I am happy with how it turned out, although it is in no way efferlicious enough to grant me passage to round 3.
Essence of Beauty

But, hey! I only entered this contest to find a way out of the serious slump I was in. Mission Accomplished.

efferlicious!!!

i made it! woo-hoo! on to the next round of last scrapper standing! i am still numb. still can't believe it. there were nearly 400 entrants. i am in the final 185. wowzers.

i totally never ever expected to be chosen. this totally rocks. did a happy dance. hooped & hollered and screamed. then i called terry and did it all again. total happiness here. yeah.


and so...
the new dare is to do a layout using 13 photos. i can do that. right?

finished!!!!!

after much frustration & a darn good juggling act, i finished my entry for the effer's Last Scrapper Standing Contest.

Murphy's Law. Hate it. Especially when it affects me personally. LOL! But I overcame. I just let the art take me where it wished. and I created something so funky that it actually makes me smile. it's not AT ALL what i had envisioned it being. but it's growing on me.
Good To Be Queen

happy birthday to me...

... yep. today's the day I turn 35. am i doing anything to celebrate. nope. instead i have been cleaning my house so the realtor can show it this evening. i think we're all gonna go to the fairgrounds with the puppy during the showing. Terry left me a chocolate chip cookie with a candle in it on the kitchen table this morning. so very adorable. the girls both made cards for me. love them. mom left a big package on my porch this morning. Mary Engelbriet coffee mug, ME cherry dessert plates and some Lotion from Victoria's Secret. yummy.

i really need to be working on my entry for the effer contest. gotta find the mojo i had last night. i should have just stayed up and finished it then. today i am blah and worn out from straightening this house. and it wasn't even that messy. wish i had some mountain dew. that always gives me a kick in the pants.

So Excited...

My favorite scrapper ever now has a new blog!!
Rebecca Sower
She is amazing. I've been missing her lately. Glad to see her around again.

Messy...

I made some art paper yesterday. Crayons, heat gun & white paper. Had fun making a mess. I also managed to make some background sheets for my art journal. Used watercolors, acrylic paints, old book pages and tissue papers. I like the way some of them turned out. today, I did a little watercolor flower drawing. Not real impressed with it, but, hey. At least i did something.



In between time, I decided to try to organize my scrapbook papers. Recycling Shipping boxes into vertical paper storage. We'll see how that works out. For now, I've just got a huge mess. I really need the help of a professional organizer. The jumbled mess & mass of art supplies all attempting to be contained in the corner of my dining room just overwhelmes me sometimes. There must be a better way to utilize this space.
Seriously.

Feeling A Bit Better Today...

... After entering yesterdays post, I went over & posted an 2Ps. Since nobody really reads my blog, I needed to vent to some real people. It was difficult to put myself out there like that, and I didn't really expect much response, but WOW! I was overwhelmed at the support I received. I had myself a real good cry & managed to thank everyone for their kindness.

Although I hate to think that others go through this, it is comforting to know I am not alone in it. That others are willing to offer support when someone is down is such a refreshing thing. I am happy to be a part of such a wonderful group of people.

I seem to have awful days like that every so often. There's always one that is much worse than any others. I think hormones come into play and make it seem so much more devastating. But the feelings are still real.

I decided that the creative thing just wasn't going to happen for me & busied myself with other things. I started feeling a little better by evening. Actually went on a walk with Terry, then I took Madison to America's Night Out. We had a fun time. We caught up with some of her friends & we all participated in the Glow Stick Walk. I had fun just watching her enjoy herself. I only wish I had taken my camera. Oh, well.

Uggghhhh!!!

I want to do something creative. I really do. But rather than doing something, I sit & stew over details. Trying to plan it out. Afraid that I will do it wrong. Not knowing where to begin. Not knowing how to go with the flow. Instead of making something myself, spending hours pouring over things that others have done. Trying to be inspired. Knowing anything I do will never be that good. Making excuses... If only my scrap/art space was more organized, then I could find cool stuff to play with & then I would get a creative spurt. If I had this or that supply, then I could do something worthwhile. I drive myself crazy. I neeed to create something. I need to be productive. But i have forgotten how. I feel like i am in such a funk that I might as well just give up & forget about ever trying to create again. Why bother?!! I should trash all my papers & supplies & forget it. less stress involved in that.

I must say, i am beginning to understand why Van Gough went mad. Why so many great artists suffered from depression. (Not that i would dare compare myself with VanGough or any of the other greats!) The need to create something amazing. It's like an evil ulcer that eats away at your insides if you do not let it out. And once it is released, you feel good again for a while. But it always comes back. Clawing away inside again. Nagging. The inner critic is at it's best during these times. Telling me nothing i do will ever be right or good enough. That i will never be accepted in the scrapbooking world. That any art i might actually be able to create is amatuer at best. That I should not even try. I am so afraid that I will do it wrong. That I will mess something up. That others will see that I am a fake. That I really have no talent at all. That I pretend to be an artist, but i really am not. I've just gotten lucky a few times and was able to make something I was happy with.

How can I stop the madness? How can I overcome this? I wish I knew. I know that all of those things i tell myself are not true, but i don't have the strength to fight it most of the time. It's too hard.

But I can't stop the need. It's inside me. There must be a reason for that. Surely the creative desire was put in me for a purpose. I just have to keep trying. And allow myself to create bad art, if necessary, because all art is art. Even the not so great stuff. I need to keep on.