An adventure...

...the Artist's Way. Some of us gals from Two Peas have joined together & are working through Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
One of the girls set up a Support Blog to discuss our journey. Kewl Beans.

This is Week One.

I had a bit of a lte start, but I am catching up. Still need to do my artist's date this week. Not easy living in Podunk in winter. I'll probably just lock myself in my room & watch an old movie on TV. Still sound like fun, though.

Very powerful stuff.

I am having a HARD time waking up half an hour early to do the morning pages. I am totally NOT a morning person. In NO WAY, Shape or form. But I am doing it anyway. My brain is mush at that hour, but , at least I am doing it. That is waht is important. Perhaps soon it will start to have an effect.

Sometimes....

...you have one of those days when you are just irritable. You try not to be. But it's there under the surface. And then the littlest things set you on nerve.
...and you just feel crabby about everything. Until your teenage daughter tells you outloud that she loves you. In front of her friends at school. Actually, she yells it. And then all the little things that got under my skin today just seem so insignificant.

Everything that matters is summed up in those 3 little words.

Oh, and Taylor, I love you, too!

Such Fun colors & Designs

Found print & pattern quite by accident while blog surfing today. Whimsical, colorful & just plain fun! Gotta love it!

Where have I been?

Loooong time - no bloggie!!!

I guess one could say I have been on hiatus. A small reprieve from netdom.


Here's what i have been up to (in no particular order)...

• Enjoying my new job at the school. Love the teachers I work with. super ladies!

• Joined a Stampin' Up stamp group - consisting of some of the wonderfully cool gals from the school. Love hanging out with them & creating fun little cards. (Although this newfound hobby is quite expensive!!!) But totally worth it. Making LOTS of cards. No pressure, just fun.

•Being a mom of a teenager. So far, not as bad as they say. Taylor is becoming quite a wonderful young lady. Our relationship is growing stronger. I think she actually like spending (al little) time with dear ol' mom.

• Being a mom of a preteen. Now, this is a bit tougher. I am not used to my little Madi being tempermental & moody.

• Watching Grey's Anatomy. LOVE this show!
And Heroes. super cool new show!
And Daybreak. Taye Diggs is fab! And this show is totally addictive. seriously.

That's about it. Nothing too exciting. Just taking time to regroup. Time for me. Totally needed.

I must have this...

Seriously

OK, Seriously...

... I am inspired just looking at this girl's scrap space. Seriously. I don't even have to see her work to be inspired. Although that really gets me going. Extreme talent. If you don't believe me, just check out her blog!

Pure Bliss....

... a Priority Mail envelope filled with stamps from Ma Vinci's Reliquary. YUM!!!

Ma Vinci is having a HUGE sale. I found it the other night & went wild!!! (Well, for me anyway. I spent $60!!!)

I've never owned any of her stamps before. I've just drooled over them. And wished I could own some. Now I do. I'm calling it an early Christmas gift. From me to me. Delicious rubbery goodness. Yeah.

If you want some, HURRY!!! The 50% Off Anniversary sale ends today!

As for me... I'm off to play...

Quotes...

...that speak to me today.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
~Marianne Williamson



Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'
~Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey



The following quote was found on Kelly Angard's Crafty Girl Blog (So happy to see her back among us again!!)

"all my strength
blown away with a weakening force.
all that i fear i am
is nothing
compared to what i fear
i am not."

© 2006 kelly angard

Neat Stuff....

I have stumbled across quite a few really great sites today.
Why We Journal is a great site for inspiration in creating visual journals.

Women's Creativity gives insight into how a woman's creativity is generated.

Lots of Pictures ofArt Journal
PagesAnd Even More Art Journal Pages

Ever notice...

...how just being around certain people makes you want to be a better person? My friend, Kim does that for me. She doesn't even have to say anything or do anything in particular. It's just something about the way she is that offers hope. She is real. She is transparent. She admits when she makes mistakes. She tries to live better. She makes me want to live better. I'm so thankful that God allowed our paths to cross. I'm glad He chose her to be my friend.
Thanks, Kim... for just being you...

Catching up...

... long time no bloggie!!!

So here's what I've been up to in no particular order....


... Taylor's birthday.
I managed to get a few little gifties to her throughout the day.

A little card with a dove necklace in it first thing in the morning when she came down to breakfast. She must have liked it because she actually had it on when I came downstairs. (She is SUCH a morning person & ALWAYS wakes up before I do.)

I snuck another little note & a mood ring (she loves mood rings) into her lunchbox for her to find at lunchtime at school.

Then, I had a balloon bouquet delivered as soon as we got home from school. Not allowed to have them delivered to school anymore :(

Made her signature requested birthday dinner. Of all things, she chooses hamburger helper cheeseburger flavor. I can cook. Really. I hardly ever make hamburger helper. So I don't know why this is her favorite meal. Seriously. But she loves it.

Then, we went to the Dairy Queen for Ice Cream Cupcakes. Taylor LOVES Dairy Queen cakes.

I think she had a pretty good day. Not as special as I had hoped I could make it, but still good.

We took her and a friend shopping in Fairview Heights on Sunday. Had an awesome time. We got a good laugh because it's the first time we've gone there that I haven't stopped by the scrapbook stores. (That was soooo hard for me!!!) But this trip was all about Taylor. We shopped at TJ MAXX, Old Time Pottery, and of course, the mall!!! Found some cool clothes & room accessories for Taylor & Madi even got a couple of things. We ate at St. Louis Bread Company - Taylor's choice!

Her party wasn't until September 1. We rented the public pool. It was soooo cold!!!! Temperatures around here have been hovering around 78 during the day and high 50's low 60s at night. Totally out of character for Southern Illinois this time of year. We are usually burning up right now. go figure. BUT, the girls had an absolute blast anyway!!!! They played chicken & some kind of game with a ball & giggled a lot!!! And of all things, we had a Dairy Queen Cake. I would have preferred some chili & hot chocolate, myself. LOL! But, in the end, Taylor said her party was awesome!!! I am so glad they had a good time. They didn't let the cold bother them & made the best of it. Yay!!!


...Last Scrapper Standing. My Round 3 layout didn't move me to the next round. But, that was totally Ok with me. I never expected to move past the first round, let alone go to round 3. I accomplished what I had set out to do. To be motivated to get out of the serious slump I had been in. And in the process, my self-esteem was boosted by about a thousand notches. The girls at 2 Peas are amazing. They were so supportive of everyone. And the Dare girls...well for them to even take a second look at my work, let alone honor me with being in the final 89 entrants out of 400...WHOA! I am just overwhelmed. Thanks for the privilege.


...I entered some pages in the State Fair. Mainly so the girls could see thier faces on the wall when we og. They were always telling me I should have entered, so this year I did. I hear through the grapevine that I got some ribbons. But I've not been to the fair yet, so I don't know which pages or what ribbons. I am excited to be going tomorrow so I can find out!!!

...Still trying to house train Sophie. She is doing OK, I guess, but we're still having some accidents. Some days none at all & other days 8 or 9. And we are taking her out often. Ugh!!! She is only 13 weeks old, though, so I know it's gonna happen.
And YES. We are crate training. I'd hate to think how bad it would be if we weren't.

But, she is a wonderful, loveable puppy & I am so happy that we have her. She is a great addition to the family. I can't believe how fast she is growing, though! I can barely pick her up anymore!!!

Here's a pic from the day she came home with us...

and here's one of her just the other day...



...I am adapting to working full time again. My job itself is great. My time away from home, not so much. I just can't seem to get a handle on the preparing dinner plans in advance & keeping the housework caught up through the week things. Throw in soccer practice 2 nights a week (I am an assistant coach for the girls' team) and I am quite exhausted. But I am thankful for the job. It is not high stress & so far, the teachers & staff are quite pleasant to work with. Here's to more good days ahead!

Thirteen...

...today, Taylor became a a teenager. Amazing that time really does go as quickly as they say. One day, you have a brand new baby to cuddle & hold. A thumb-sucking little bundle of love. A few days later, you are watching them begin Kindergarten. Then Junior High. And then, they become a teenager. It just happens that fast. I have enjoyed watching her grow into a young lady and I am so proud of how responible she is becoming. I love that she is becoming her own person. I better enjoy each moment as it comes, because tomorrow, she'll be 16.....

LSS Round 3 Layout Posted

Dare # 3 Finished & Posted! Yay, me! I'll upload pics of these as soon as I get a chance, but for now, I'm linking to my gallery at 2 Peas.
Hip Chick

I just LOVE how this one came out. Gonna have to frame it, I think!

randomness...

... my new job at the school is going better than expected. i get to come home for lunch and let Sophie out.

... still wish i could be home scrapping, though. but that just doesn't pay well. (read not at all)

... trying to figure out what i'm gonna do to make Taylor's birthday special. It's this Wednesday. and she'll be 13!!! I have totally dropped the ball on this one. I had BIG plans & was not able to make any of it work out. so now I am scrambling to try to put something together. Turning 13 is a big deal & I feel like a total failure as a Mom right now for not having anything special going on. If just thinking about something & planning it out were enough, I'd be set. But, alas, no. One must actually take steps to DO something for it to be accomplished. I KNOW that. so why do I always end up in this spot? Rushing around like a big dope without a clue and no way or no time to do it. ugh. seriously.

Moving on.....

Yippee!!!! Going on to Round 3 of Last Scrapper Standing!!! (insert whooping & hollering & jumping & dancing here) OMGoodness!! I am totally freaking out here, people. seriously. I sincerely did not feel worthy this week. Nothing super special. Just me doing a page because it suited me. I loved it. My daughter loved it. That was all that mattered. I did not hold any hopes of being chosen to compete in the next round.

But , wow. The Dare girls must have thought it was good. I am still standing. Totally wow. Thank you girlies!! You have no idea how much my self esteem has been boosted. I am in debt to you. for real.

The next dare is circles. everything circles. hmmm... off to go jot down some ideas.
hugs!

Last Scrapper Standing Round 2

Finally completed my layout Wednesday afternoon. I didn't go with any of my "original" artsy ideas. I decided instead to work with Taylor's Spring Party photos. I am happy with how it turned out, although it is in no way efferlicious enough to grant me passage to round 3.
Essence of Beauty

But, hey! I only entered this contest to find a way out of the serious slump I was in. Mission Accomplished.

efferlicious!!!

i made it! woo-hoo! on to the next round of last scrapper standing! i am still numb. still can't believe it. there were nearly 400 entrants. i am in the final 185. wowzers.

i totally never ever expected to be chosen. this totally rocks. did a happy dance. hooped & hollered and screamed. then i called terry and did it all again. total happiness here. yeah.


and so...
the new dare is to do a layout using 13 photos. i can do that. right?

finished!!!!!

after much frustration & a darn good juggling act, i finished my entry for the effer's Last Scrapper Standing Contest.

Murphy's Law. Hate it. Especially when it affects me personally. LOL! But I overcame. I just let the art take me where it wished. and I created something so funky that it actually makes me smile. it's not AT ALL what i had envisioned it being. but it's growing on me.
Good To Be Queen

happy birthday to me...

... yep. today's the day I turn 35. am i doing anything to celebrate. nope. instead i have been cleaning my house so the realtor can show it this evening. i think we're all gonna go to the fairgrounds with the puppy during the showing. Terry left me a chocolate chip cookie with a candle in it on the kitchen table this morning. so very adorable. the girls both made cards for me. love them. mom left a big package on my porch this morning. Mary Engelbriet coffee mug, ME cherry dessert plates and some Lotion from Victoria's Secret. yummy.

i really need to be working on my entry for the effer contest. gotta find the mojo i had last night. i should have just stayed up and finished it then. today i am blah and worn out from straightening this house. and it wasn't even that messy. wish i had some mountain dew. that always gives me a kick in the pants.

So Excited...

My favorite scrapper ever now has a new blog!!
Rebecca Sower
She is amazing. I've been missing her lately. Glad to see her around again.

Messy...

I made some art paper yesterday. Crayons, heat gun & white paper. Had fun making a mess. I also managed to make some background sheets for my art journal. Used watercolors, acrylic paints, old book pages and tissue papers. I like the way some of them turned out. today, I did a little watercolor flower drawing. Not real impressed with it, but, hey. At least i did something.



In between time, I decided to try to organize my scrapbook papers. Recycling Shipping boxes into vertical paper storage. We'll see how that works out. For now, I've just got a huge mess. I really need the help of a professional organizer. The jumbled mess & mass of art supplies all attempting to be contained in the corner of my dining room just overwhelmes me sometimes. There must be a better way to utilize this space.
Seriously.

Feeling A Bit Better Today...

... After entering yesterdays post, I went over & posted an 2Ps. Since nobody really reads my blog, I needed to vent to some real people. It was difficult to put myself out there like that, and I didn't really expect much response, but WOW! I was overwhelmed at the support I received. I had myself a real good cry & managed to thank everyone for their kindness.

Although I hate to think that others go through this, it is comforting to know I am not alone in it. That others are willing to offer support when someone is down is such a refreshing thing. I am happy to be a part of such a wonderful group of people.

I seem to have awful days like that every so often. There's always one that is much worse than any others. I think hormones come into play and make it seem so much more devastating. But the feelings are still real.

I decided that the creative thing just wasn't going to happen for me & busied myself with other things. I started feeling a little better by evening. Actually went on a walk with Terry, then I took Madison to America's Night Out. We had a fun time. We caught up with some of her friends & we all participated in the Glow Stick Walk. I had fun just watching her enjoy herself. I only wish I had taken my camera. Oh, well.

Uggghhhh!!!

I want to do something creative. I really do. But rather than doing something, I sit & stew over details. Trying to plan it out. Afraid that I will do it wrong. Not knowing where to begin. Not knowing how to go with the flow. Instead of making something myself, spending hours pouring over things that others have done. Trying to be inspired. Knowing anything I do will never be that good. Making excuses... If only my scrap/art space was more organized, then I could find cool stuff to play with & then I would get a creative spurt. If I had this or that supply, then I could do something worthwhile. I drive myself crazy. I neeed to create something. I need to be productive. But i have forgotten how. I feel like i am in such a funk that I might as well just give up & forget about ever trying to create again. Why bother?!! I should trash all my papers & supplies & forget it. less stress involved in that.

I must say, i am beginning to understand why Van Gough went mad. Why so many great artists suffered from depression. (Not that i would dare compare myself with VanGough or any of the other greats!) The need to create something amazing. It's like an evil ulcer that eats away at your insides if you do not let it out. And once it is released, you feel good again for a while. But it always comes back. Clawing away inside again. Nagging. The inner critic is at it's best during these times. Telling me nothing i do will ever be right or good enough. That i will never be accepted in the scrapbooking world. That any art i might actually be able to create is amatuer at best. That I should not even try. I am so afraid that I will do it wrong. That I will mess something up. That others will see that I am a fake. That I really have no talent at all. That I pretend to be an artist, but i really am not. I've just gotten lucky a few times and was able to make something I was happy with.

How can I stop the madness? How can I overcome this? I wish I knew. I know that all of those things i tell myself are not true, but i don't have the strength to fight it most of the time. It's too hard.

But I can't stop the need. It's inside me. There must be a reason for that. Surely the creative desire was put in me for a purpose. I just have to keep trying. And allow myself to create bad art, if necessary, because all art is art. Even the not so great stuff. I need to keep on.

Kelly L. Watson: Paper Towel Tutorial

ThisKelly L. Watson: Paper Towel Tutoriallooks like a lot of fun. Simple, yet such beautiful results. Something to do with the girls tomorrow.

More Art Journal Inspiration

Just discovered a new artist. Teesha Moore. Love her Art Journals. Here's a link to How She Journals Print it out. It's good stuff.
And her pages. Wow.

I really need to do more of this. It's fun. I spend way too much time checking out other people's work & not enough time doing my own. But I just can't help myself. So many inspiring artists out there.

Art inspiration...

Magical Secrets

Cool Digi Designs

Erica Hernandez Designs

Having Fun...

Elsie inspired me with this post

She is so right.We shouldn't be so concerned with waht other people think. So why is it that we are? Something I've been trying to work on. and it's hard to do. My favorite times & the times I am happiest with myself are the times when I just let go and have fun. Not worrying about what people might think if they see a grown woman busting up laughing while playing hide-and-seek with friends at Sam's Club! LOL! Or pretending to moon friends who are driving next to me on a two lane highway! Or, like Elsie, jumping on the bed with a girlfriend. Or running my underwear with the prinicpal's name on it up the school flagpole during a scavenger hunt with a bunch of 10 year old girls and 2 others my age! tee-hee!!. (yes, Mr. Kreid knows i was involved in it...) I love Letting loose & having a blast. Why is it that I don't do that more often? Why do we hold so much back? For me, it's because I am afraid people will think I am nuts. or immature. or that i will say or do something to offend someone. or that i amy not be considered good enough, or worthy of making friends with. So I recede into myself & don't let anyone in. and i don't let anything out. That's not the real me. The real me hides inside & cowers under the pressure to please everyone else & "behave" like a "good little girl."

I was reading "Brilliant Quotes" and there was one that specifically made sense to me: (Paraphrasing the Brilliant quote) "I need a little insanity soon or I will go mad."
For me, that is so true. I need to let loose or the stresses of life will totally get me down. and i get in such a funk that it takes weeks to come out of it. sometimes longer. and right now, I think I might just go jump on the bed.....
Hugs!

RAKs and fun!

Here's the link to Jen's RAK blog!
Just thinking about...

Love, Love, Love this song!!!

So Long Self, by Mercy Me